Long Sermon
A pastor, known for his lengthy sermons, noticed a man get up and leave during the middle of his message. The man returned just before the conclusion of the service. Afterward the pastor asked the man where he had gone. ''I went to get a haircut,'' was the reply. ''But,'' said the pastor, ''why didn't you do that before the service?'' ''Because,'' the gentleman said, ''I didn't need one then.''

Australian jokes

Humorous Jokes
The Big Scare - Lee was known among his friends for the punctuality with which he sent his wife her alimony payment each month. When he was asked the reason for his haste he shivered and replied: "I'm afraid that if I should ever fall behind in the payments to that witch, she might well try to repossess me."

Rock Star Jokes
What's the difference between a fiddle and a violin ? Who cares - neither one's a guitar How do you know when the stage is level ? The drummer is drooling out of both sides of his mouth .. Did you hear about the guitarist who was in tune ? Neither did I